They Will Kill You (2026)

This was completely bonkers, in both the best and worst ways. Imagine a wild mash-up of Ready or Not, Kill Bill, and Looney Tunes, with flashes of countless other films thrown into the mix. It’s chaotic, and doesn’t always land, but it’s never dull.

The trailer does a great job of hiding a key element that I genuinely didn’t see coming. That surprise is also where the “mixed results” come in. I won’t spoil it, but while it adds a layer of dark comedy to the blood-soaked mayhem, it also hinders the movie at times, especially in an ending that’s so over-the-top it’ll likely split audiences right down the middle.

Performances and special effects are a bit uneven, but the action is where the film really shines. The set pieces are inventive, fast-paced, and gleefully excessive, with bloodshed dialled up to ridiculous levels.

This feels like the kind of film that might improve on a second watch, once you know what you’re in for. For now, it lands as a fun, chaotic ride - 7/10 for now.

This is another one of those films where the best bits are definitely in the trailers. We are quickly briefed that siblings “Asia” (Zazie Beetz) and “Maria” (Myha’la) are being abused by their father, but when the former adopts a more permanent solution to their problem, she is incarcerated and many years pass during which the sisters lose contact. Upon her release, “Asia” gets herself a job working as a cleaner in a grand looking New York skyscraper, but little does she appreciate just what services she will be required to provide to “Lily” (Patricia Arquette) and her coterie of staff and hedonistic residents. Luckily, she might be able to rely on “Ray” (Paterson Joseph) who is married to her new nemesis but who has become disillusioned with things - but even together, is there any chance they can combat their uniquely armed foes? I did quite like the last ten minutes, but otherwise this is all too familiar and predictable, with shades of a demonic version of “John Wick” running through most of it, and very little comedy once we establish the Hammer-style nature of the scenarios. I suppose it does look good, but I find these one person army features increasingly repetitive to watch and I felt this recycled itself once to often for me.

What his lacks in story it makes up for in visual flair and spectacle. The casting is solid, the action rightfully over the top and the direction very solid. The relationship between the two main protagonists is a bit convoluted, and hard to relate to, but the movie gets on well without their bond being that well worked out. The ending is fittingly bonkers. It is fun, if not the most substantial movie you will see.

I'm not sure what exactly it is I just watched.

I AM sure that if I had ingested some adult substances, it would have made more sense and I probably would have enjoyed it more.