Super Mario Bros. (1993)

I finally watched the movie because I wanted to know if it was as bad as the screencaps I knew looked...

Okay, I think I have to split this in two parts:
How is it as a Super Mario movie? Absolutely horrible! 😅
As in...it has nothing to do with Mario except from using several character names for characters that have barely anything to do with Mario at all. And the protagonists are plumbers. So, yeah, absolutely no relation to the actual franchise.

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How was it as a movie?
That's actually harder to say.
For about the first half of the movie, or maybe even 2/3, I'd say the movie is, kinda, a somewhat entertaining trash movie. A little bit random chaos and silliness, similar to, for example, the live-action "Double Dragon" movie. If you ignore the "Mario Bros." part and just see it as a silly adventure movie with a dystopian parallel-dimension and an evil antagonist that wants to rule/destroy mankind, it's kinda fun in it's cheapness.
The "Koopa dimension" does actually look kinda cool in a dirty, cyberpunk-ish way, I actually liked the mood in that one. Crazy designs, Mad Max-like ripped police cars, flamethrowers, these parts were random, but certainly kinda fun, I mean, sure, police chases in crazy cars, evil police wearing spiked outfits, flamethrowers and explosions?
That kinda a cool thing for an action movie, right?

And it also is quite funny if you just look at how completely unfitting all Mario-related things were. "WTF, THAT is Toad?!" "Hell, THAT is supposed a Goomba?!". Quite some moments that can make you laugh if you pretend it to be a really cheap fan-movie, instead of a licensed production.

So, at the halfway point I thought "Okay, really bad Mario movie, but kinda entertaining action-comedy."

Sadly the last third or so really loses on that one again. Any fights and action towards the end gets even more random than the movie is generally, jumping between scenes, cheap animations and basically no cohesion between happening stuff. And that, sadly, kinda kills the "kinda cool trash" vibe for me.

The monster costumes are quite horrible, not only in that they look nothing like Mario-characters, but also just bad in general. Especially compared to the much older "Gremlins" movie, for example.

So, yeah...not a good movie, not even ignoring the Mario part. I think it is fun to watch ONCE to laugh about how they "interpreted" the Mario franchise, though.

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But, to be fair, let me also list the good points:
- The Koopa dimension looks kinda cool
- Bob Hoskins does a quite good job and the dynamic with John Leguizamo is good as well. Although, or maybe because, it kinda feels like a Bud Spencer and Terence Hill relationship, somehow

And, well...

- Francesca P. Roberts as Big Bertha is damn sexy and I wanna dance with her, as well!

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So, yeah...not a good movie, but some good actors. Watch it once to make fun about how it's absolutely NOT a Mario Bros. movie.