Masters of the Universe (1987)

Somehow, Dolph Lundgren portrayed He-Man brilliantly!

This was an epic classic. And it had a young Courtney Cox!

Masters of the Universe, at least the cartoon and toys, were one of the reasons I am so happy I had a childhood in the 80s... along with GI Joe and Star Wars, they were some of the most defining things of 80s childhood play.

And then this came out and we all felt a little cheated that we had a knock-off Orco, but totally excited that we had a movie we could see on the big screen. And we were young enough to not see how low the budget was.

But, man, Frank Langella really sold his role didn't he? He brought his A-Game to this and knocked it out of the park.

And Chelsea Field deserved better roles, she's never been bad in any of her films, even this low budget fair.

But, watching it as an adult... it's a lot more B-Movie than it was when I was a kid, and the nostalgia and, well, Langella, are all that's really carrying it. But it's still fun. It still entertains, and is still all that matters.

**The glorious "greasy sci-fi" of the 80s: who doesn't miss the days when a rough rubber mask was a good idea in a movie?**

I'm not really a comic connoisseur. It was only when I read about this film that I realized that the characters had been taken from that literary universe and from a line of action toys created by the American company Mattel. This is something that helped me to understand the sheer confusion and goofiness of this film, which I think only toy fans will truly appreciate.

The best thing about this movie is the cast. There are some very respectable actors here, and their commitment and talent is remarkable, raising the quality of a cheesy movie quite a bit. Frank Langella's involvement is particularly good. He gave life to the great villain, a being called Skeletor, who looks like Darth Vader in the day he decided to go to Halloween dressed as Death. The character himself isn't impressive, he's a huge cliché without any intimidation ability, but Langella is really enjoying and having fun with this work. On the opposite side is Dolph Lundgren, a herculean and apparently invulnerable young man who came out of the world of combat sports, who doesn't know how to play and has the dramatic qualities of an avocado, but who manages to respond to what is asked of the character. Meg Foster, the proud owner of one of the most beautiful pairs of eyes of her time, has a charisma of her own and does a very good work.

But let's be honest, is anyone going to see a movie just for the cast? I do not think so. It's a good argument, but it doesn't take anyone to the theatre by itself. Does the movie have anything else? Do you have qualities? Is it really worth it? There are audiences for all types of cinema, including kitsch, trash and B cinema. The proof of this is the success of some films that would never convince a person with the least amount of good taste. Therefore, I believe that lovers of “oily sci-fi” will be delighted with this magnificent piece of cheese with a very characteristic taste of the 80s. We have everything: stilted action scenes, choreographed like a Russian ballet, extraordinarily cheap special effects, “DIY” level, a very poor script, characters reduced to sketches, dialogues more melodramatic than a Mexican soap opera, crude make-up (Langella's mask is particularly bad) and many laser shots, in the golden age of lasers and neon. One last word for the soundtrack, bloated and arrogant like a 16-year-old on steroids.

Watching some older adaptations takes a lot of patience. When we revisit movies based on classic 80s toy lines, we often find projects that lost their identity along the way. That's exactly the bitter taste *Masters of the Universe* leaves behind. You go in expecting cosmic greatness, but what you get is a suburban chase that barely hides its massive structural flaws.

The movie has a major identity crisis and doesn't seem to know who it’s made for. On one hand, you have Frank Langella delivering an intense, genuinely scary, and almost Shakespearean performance as Skeletor. On the other hand, the script abruptly drags us down to Earth, throwing in awkward comic relief and goofy California cops. This harsh transition from gothic alien torture to high school slapstick completely ruins the immersion, alienating kids who wanted to see their toys come to life and adults looking for a serious sci-fi fantasy.

To make matters worse, the film actively ignores its own mythology. Iconic transformations are gone, and fan favorites like Battle Cat, Orko, and Mer-Man were scrapped to save money. Instead of the classic sword-and-sorcery vibe, we get endless, exhausting laser shootouts. He-Man trades his mythical Sword of Power for generic alien guns, becoming just another foot soldier in a movie that heavily—and lazily—rips off the *Star Wars* aesthetic.

Visually, Dolph Lundgren is the perfect He-Man. He genuinely looks like an action figure brought to life. However, his acting is incredibly stiff and robotic, largely due to his language barrier at the time. The directors tried to hide this by giving him very few lines, but it totally strips the character of any leadership or emotional depth. He’s just a hollow shell meant for action choreography. Meanwhile, Langella’s phenomenal, heavy-hitting performance as Skeletor only makes the rest of the cast look even worse by comparison.

The plot itself is a mess. Paying for an epic battle over Eternia and getting stuck in a boring suburban chase with two annoying teenagers—Kevin and Julie—is a huge letdown. The story wastes so much time trying to make us care about their teenage drama that it completely kills the pacing and any sense of urgency. The script is full of plot holes, relying on the "Cosmic Key" as a lazy excuse to move characters around, and the villains make terrible tactical choices at every turn.

Technically, it’s a mixed bag. The practical makeup for Skeletor and his henchmen is actually great, giving them real weight and charm on screen. But the post-production visual effects have aged terribly. The drawn-on optical lasers and floating energy fields look incredibly cheap and amateurish, constantly breaking the suspension of disbelief. This is even more obvious when comparing the amazing, moody gothic sets of Castle Grayskull in the opening minutes to the flat, washed-out, cheap TV-show look of the Earth scenes.

Ultimately, *Masters of the Universe* is a project swallowed by its own financial and creative limits. Frank Langella's massive performance is suffocated by an amateur script, terrible digital effects, and a director who just wanted to copy George Lucas instead of respecting He-Man's roots. Still, despite its structural flaws and Lundgren's robotic acting, it has undeniable B-movie charm and has built a solid cult following over the years. Is it worth watching? I'd say yes, even if just for the historical curiosity. Set your expectations right, grab a spot on the couch, and see for yourself if Skeletor's theatrical greatness makes up for the generic shootouts and annoying teens.