Hokum (2026)

Perhaps the vicar was just clearing his throat at his Christening, but anyway it's author "Ohm" (Adam Scott) who is about to conclude the final instalment of his legendary "Conquistador" trilogy when he is reminded that he still has the ashes of his parents in a cupboard, alongside a photograph of his mum leaning against a giant tree. He decides that the best place for them to rest is under that very tree, so he sets off to Ireland and a remote country hotel. His arrival gives him (and us) an idea of just how quirky this place is, and the fact that he's a bit attitudinal suggests the trip isn't going to go so well. That turns out not to be the half of it, though, as a timely intervention by barmaid "Fiona" (Florence Ordesh) proves just the start of an intrigue that involves her disappearance, a dead goat, a crossbow, a locked honeymoon suite, an enigmatic vagrant (David Wilmot) and a very busy dumb waiter. Of course the woodland setting plays an huge part in creating the sense of tension, and from that it's the wind howling audio that works best as well as some dim - but plausible - shadowy lighting. Ok, so this hotel does appear more labyrinthine than Churchill's War rooms and the story itself isn't without the odd hole or two, but I felt Scott (who reminded me of David Tennant) held this together quite well as his character's current predicament is woven in with an historical one that fills in a few gaps as to why mum and dad lay around in the wardrobe for a while and why he is so antsy. It's tensely directed, there is a little humour amidst the craic, and this is certainly amongst the best cinema releases from this genre so far this year.

It struggles to build tension and meanders at times, but this is not a bad movie. I get a very similar vibe to 1408, which came out in 2007, and Grave Encounters, especially the first one. The casting here is good and carries a lot of the movie, but the pacing is a bit slow and it's difficult to feel for the protagonist, which means that the tension doesn't quite build the way it should.

I must have a short attention span today because 10 minutes in and... yeah, I'm bored.

I'll revisit this some other day when I'm not frustrated out of my skull at everything and everyone.

BUT ALSO, [SPOILERS]:

Did he really go from hallucinating a creepy old woman in his house twice, to nonchalantly playing with a gun that is implied to be connected to his parent's death? Maybe the creepy old woman was mommy dearest.