Undisputed II: Last Man Standing (2006)

Undisputed 2: Last Man Standing is a rather ironic sequel, but I'm afraid the irony is entirely accidental. The fights here are definitely illegal, but they happen in an actual ring — as opposed to Undisputed’s Cage of Death.

George Chambers returns to prison, convicted of a crime he didn’t commit (unlike the rape charge from the original film). After defending his cellmate, Chambers declares that "I don't like to see people being bullied", and although he adds "unless I am the one doing the bullying", it’s still a 180 degree personality change. People can and do change, of course, but seldom do they go from Ving Rhames to Michael Jai White.

In Russia to shoot a vodka commercial (if only this Isaac Florentine-directed movie had been about a down-and-out boxer à la Apollo Creed), the rejuvenated Chambers is arrested for possession of cocaine (planted in his hotel room) and summarily sentenced to Chornya Cholmi maximum security prison. Chornya Cholmi translates to Black Hills, although the hills, if any, would be more likely to be white with snow; I guess it's just a name, like 'Monster Island' (which is actually a peninsula).

This is one of those Russian prisons, like the one in Black Widow, where everyone — warden, guards and inmates alike — speaks proficient English (continuing the unintentional irony, Chambers is one of the few characters to say anything in Russian, in the aforementioned commercial), including the undisputed prison champion, Yuri Boyka (Scott Adkins).

A far cry from the boxing of Undisputed, the name of the game here is mixed martial arts choreographed like wrestling (complete with ref bumps, which I guess is the only reason why clandestine, anything-goes prison fights would have a referee to begin with); in that sense, Adkins's gravity-defying moves are the best thing about the film, though not quite what one would expect under the circumstances (a gritty Fight Club aesthetic would be more pertinent).

Chambers starts out as a boxer, so his first matchup with Boyka is fought under a "fists only" stipulation. In the film’s one instance of Truth in Television, Chambers easily overpowers Boyka; the problem, however, is that White and Adkins are both consummate martial artists, so this first encounter is as underwhelming as one-legged only ass-kicking contest — that is, until Boyka stops giving a crap and starts throwing kicks and knees at Chambers, who on top of everything has been drugged by his cornerman.

All things considered, White's casting is a misfire. Rhames can't do half the things White does, but he didn't need to either; his Chambers was the irresistible force as well as the immovable object. White, through no fault of his own, has to pretend he doesn't know zilch about martial arts and then pretend that Chambers learns everything White knows about MMA in an impossibly short period of time.