Sleeping Beauties (2017)

Every year, before it ends, I try to watch every single movie that gets released during that year that I can, so that by the time it wraps up, I have a big long list of movies to rank from best to worst from over the course of the year..

I think I might have to revisit that policy.

I can excuse the fact that HBO has very barely veiled this softcore pornography as a narrative feature, I can excuse some of the worst acting I've ever seen on screen, I can even excuse the absolute ridiculousness of the whole thing, but I cannot excuse the laziness of _Sleeping Beauties_. I'm not saying its impossible to create a worthwhile movie that's primarily focussed on sex, but come on, this woman who's been in a magic-coma for 400 years has a tattoo on her shoulder of a logo that's been around for less than 50? I mean, what's some concealer cost? Like ten bucks? And you couldn't even be bothered? Jesus Christ.

You're way better off just watching actual porn, there'll at least be some genitals in that.

_Final rating:½ - So bad it’s offensive. I may never fully recover._