Dragon Age: Absolution (2022)

[stares...] ...>sighs<... [stares longer, slumped in chair] ...>sighs heavier, fingers holding bridge of nose<....


You know, this social political...thing is **NOT** the way to go. The forced viewing of homosexuality is **NOT** interesting. Gay romance does **NOT** play well to the viewing audience if the viewing audience **is NOT gay**; which just **_so happens to be 98% of this country_**, America.

Review: Gay ex-slave elf-woman is asked for help by her gay ex-girlfriend human. Gay elf-woman and her gay-human male partner team up to help gay ex-girlfriend and her gay dwarf-man partner to steal mcguffin.

**NOTE:** [I am not being facetious nor malicious; this is the literal story.]

The theft they are hired to commit has the Gay elf-woman returning to the city in which she lived as a slave. The job also has her face her ex-owner whom she was raised with from childhood. He considers her family, though she never once returned the sentiment the entire series. The two, ofcourse, have to fight because the theft job went bad and the ex-owner just so happens to own the mcguffin. Her ex-girlfriend human was captured, and they end up having to rescue her. All this happens, even after the ex-owner saves Gay elf-woman's life because of the famial connection he (stupidly) harbors for the intolerant, self-absorbed, murdering, cowardly gay-elf woman.

So let's get the plot straight: They attempt to steal from the ex-owner for money. It goes bad. Gay-elf lady nearly looses her life. Gay ex-girlfriend human is captured. Ex-owner saves gay-elf lady thieving/murdering life out of (misplaced, IMO) sentiment. And now he's the bad guy because he wants to use magic -- he's good at --, to bring her brother -- whom gay elf lady killed -- back to life, so they all can rule the land. This will be his right, once he proves himself so magically inclined to his peers.

It's not that there are bad stories. It is that there are bad writers. And (I don't know if this is "Hollywood" making the calls, but we'll call the shotcallers or showrunners "Hollywood" for the sake argument) when Hollywood puts set boundaries around a story, particularly boundaries (checkboxes) that are not shared by the vast majority of the viewing audience, it takes away from everything the show should be trying to do; that of entertaining. And NO amount of special effects or animation action scenes are going to overshadow that.

I didn't finish watching this series. I didn't have to. I lost interest when the gay elf lady refused her "brother's" offer to come home, be there when he brings her actual blood brother back to life and release her girlfriend. _Her_ antagonism shapes and fuels her actions from there, and that is how she became the bad guy (IMO). I mean the ex-owner literally has not had the chance to do anything truly evil (not even in her memory flashbacks), and the gay elf woman is pre-emptively being an assuming a-hole. He _is_ holding her gay ex-girlfriend prisoner, but that is only after they try (and fail) to steal from him! Which, holding the gay human woman in a cell, just happens to be his right.

Child-lock this show if you have children under 16 years of age in the house. There are no lessons to be learned here. There are no heroes in this show. 2.5/10 for the animation.
-- Bob --

This review is for season 1.

1. The writing is middling at best and subpar at worse.
2. The voice-acting is fine.
3. The animation is nice.
4. Qwydion is best buddy. She's so bubbly and adorable!

**My conclusion:** Meh.. but I'll return for season 2 to see Qwydion again.

I've seen better writing and storytelling in the form of The Dragon Prince (S01-S03, S04 was shite), and Arcane (which really set the bar for me for mature-audience animation), and similar or worse in the form of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners.

Here the writers seem to conveniently forget they've written things in one bit, seesaw with character's intelligence in another bit, and lack consistency with character's actions in an extended bit. I also really didn't like the writing for the twist, I feel like it could've been done much better.

_Below is the argumentative portion of the review where I take issue with the other "review" and explain plot points as plainly as I can in a totes short space of time because honestly, we have better things to do. I paused playing Ark and watching Castlevania (for the first time) to watch this in it's entirety because of that review._

**BEWARE! Here there be SPOILERS!**

* "Child-lock this show if you have children under 16 years of age in the house." This series is listed as **TV-MA** here and on IMDB and **16+** on Netflix. **These official ratings mean that this series is meant for mature audiences, AKA adults.** Which irresponsible parent allows their child to consume media made for adults? That's a rhetorical question and yes, this was a spoiler for someone!
* As a non-American, my take on population statistics as used like this is that they expect you to have zero empathy or compassion towards anyone who is on the receiving end. It makes sense that the review seems to completely miss the blatant xenophobia and slavery on full display in this series because to acknowledge it would require at least a shred of humanity. 2% of America's population is almost 7 million souls but I suppose it's fine to pretend people don't exist. 7 million is totes a big spoiler number because 2% looks really small.
* While having homosexual characters, this first season of this series presents homosexuality as a non-issue in this universe. No one cares that the main character is lesbian or that her buddy is gay. There is no political discussion about the plight or persecution of homosexuals, which is what reviews like the one in question usually complain about, yet when this doesn't exist, the complaint becomes the mere existence of homosexuals, which is where the buck really stops. Spoiler, two protagonists are homosexual, one protagonist turned antagonist is homosexual, and one protagonist is possibly bisexual.
* The lesbian elf protagonist hates her human "brother" because she and her actual twin brother were slaves to his family, abused since childhood, and raised to be his personal assassins/bodyguards. Her life at the hands of his family directly led to the death of her twin brother, an act which she herself had to do when he was sacrificed to demonic possession to save her slave-master's son's life, AKA her slave-master "brother", after he botched some sort of magical initiation which hadn't been failed by one of his ilk "in 300 years" (not so good at some magic maybe?). It's not a stretch to understand why she wouldn't want anything to do with him even though he wants to resurrect her real brother even if we ignored the alluded-to horrible consequences of using Blood Magic to do it. Return to slavery? Resurrect her brother to slavery?
* The presumed heterosexual human antagonist is shown to be reckless, unwilling to listen to reason and willing to put others at risk as a result of his own hubris, all within the first five minutes of the audience meeting him, and his behavior becomes more abhorrent the more time we spend with him. He is willing to use prohibited magic he can't possibly understand or control to resurrect his "adoptive" slave brother. He is willing to murder his "sister's" girlfriend as punishment if she refuses to return "home". I suppose evil is fine to some as long as it ain't gay.

Bad writing is bad writing. LGBTQIA+ and diverse characters don't equate bad writing, nor does it make up for bad writing. No amount of "checkbox" and "quota" buzzwords changes this because media without buzzword characters exist and there there be trash too.

I assume if a clearly asinine and homophobic rant is allowed to remain on this website, masquerading as a review (along with others that the reviewer has submitted), then mine should too. Cheers!